In the modern day, there is a trend of broken homes all over the world, Nigeria not being an exception. All you hear is the break-up of couples, children being brought up without both parents, and family torn in agony. Marriage is supposed to be a place of peace, love and companionship but it is a place where now many are hurting. There is no doubt that the death of homes affects the husband and the wife but it also affects the children, extended family and the community. Such issue is grave and we need to ask, why are there so many broken homes nowadays?
It is due to one large factor, and that is impatience and lack of comprehension in marriages. Couples used to be patient with one another. Marriage was a life long mini voyage and not a drop off. Today there is a mindset of a quick fix mode of people getting into marriage. On the occasion when issues occur, they are quick to separate rather than negotiate, forgive, and solve the arising problems. Marriage is not always conducive, and surviving the storms cannot go by without patience.
This is due to another source of cause, social media, and unrealistic expectations. Several couples match their marriage to what they find in the internet. They see images of the celebrities or their friends in Instagram and believe their marriage is not working. What people forget is that there is only a bright side of social media. Behind those images there are also others who are in trouble. However, due to the comparison, lots of individuals feel unsatisfied with their own house, and it gradually causes the issues that can destroy the marriage.
It is as well a big role played by financial problems. Money has wrecked numerous families. In Nigeria, families are extremely stressed by increasing cost of living, unemployment and a failure to plan. The lack of money increases the level of arguments. On some occasions the man feels he has failed his family, and this causes the woman to feel unsupported. When couples fail to tackle the situation by coming up together, they tend to worsen the relationship through blame games.
Poor communication is another solid reason. All the marriages fall apart not due to the very large problems but because husband and wife are unable to talk to each other peacefully. Small misunderstandings were the cause of big problems as they failed to be addressed early on. Some carry malice weeks, others abuse others in anger and some even allow strangers to guide them negatively. Love starts dying and respect fades as communication is lost. This soon leads to the breaking of the marriage.
Another agonizing cause of broken homes that we also see is infidelity. Cheating extinguishes trust and thus it is extremely difficult to mend. Lots of men and women have disobeyed their vows and searched love beyond. This brings about bitterness, quarreling and deep-rooted wounds. Without trust no marriage can last and when the element of cheating enters the picture, the home becomes unstable.
There is also cultural and family interference. Nigerians have the practice of extended family members who interfere with marriages. Some in- laws exert avoidable stresses and some parents deny their married children the liberty of enjoying life. They can divide, instead of supporting. When a couple is not united, they cannot keep the home together where there is such pressure.
The other reason is due to improper preparation prior to getting married. Most youths get married blindly and unaware of the marriage institution. Others marry due to family or friends influence and others just marry out of body attraction. When they are faced with the reality of real life duties however they are overwhelmed. Maturity, sacrifice and commitment are a wife in a marriage. In the absence thereof, the home can hardly be held together.
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The problem of domestic violence cannot be forgotten as well. Broken homes are the result of abuse in many homes. Violence can easily occur in such relationships where the other partner usually leaves to protect his/her life. Violence, be it physical, emotional, and even verbal is a killer of love in a marriage. Nobody is supposed to be in an abusive marriage and the sad part is that a lot of relationship break up because the parties involved are not ready to clear the air of anger and conflict in a healthy manner.
Finally, absence of God in marriages is also another significant cause. Most couples in the past built their homes on godly values, prayer and faith. However, nowadays most marriages are founded on affairs, money or beauty. They lack a solid ground to stand on when there are storms. Without God, peace, forgiveness and sense of direction are usually hard to achieve within a home.
Conclusively, our impatience, lack of communication, financial pressures, unfaithfulness, family intervention, insufficient preparation, violence, and the lack of God are several reasons why we get to have a large number of broken homes. A fractured household is gut wrenching bearing in mind that it is not only the couple that feels the impact but also children and the society as a whole. The only way to minimize broken homes, is by way of regression into the values of patience, love, respect, good communication, financial discipline and a good religion. Marriage is not an ideal concept but with two individuals dedicated in ensuring that the marriage works even the difficulties are surmountable. The reality is that healthy homes make up a healthy society and in preserving our marriages we preserve our future.
0.000 SRY